Keyboardist Dizzy Reed confirmed that he’ll be in the house at the Public Hall with Axl Rose, Slash, Duff McKagen, Izzy Stradlin, Gilby Clarke, Matt Sorum and Steven Adler (how big is this freaking stage?). He didn’t say much else, as in, WILL THEY BE PERFORMING TOGETHER?
At the very least, this ensures that GNR will avoid the debacles served up by the Sex Pistols and Van Halen, when almost zero members showed up. There’s still a chance, however, they could pull something douchy like John Fogerty and Creedence Clearwater Revival:
Relevance to the Rock Hall: Mr. Grohl's Foo Fighters can never get in.
From: G.E. Smith
Date: Wed, 15 Feb 2012 11:32:55 -0500
To: Michael Anthony
Subject: three amigos
OK, I got no problem with Butch Vig. He did Nevermind and some big early 90s albums. I got no beef with Dave Grohl, mainly because he's Flipout Wilson’s boy. I have no beef with Rick Springfield, because he rocked some great tunes. Yet all three together, doing something musically seems….wrong. Disingenuous maybe. What is up with this sh*t.
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From: Michael Anthony
Sent: Wednesday, February 15, 2012 11:34 AM
To: G.E. Smith
Subject: Re: three amigos
Maybe Vig is Rick's stunt double?
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Corgan, or the New Radicals guy?
From: G.E. Smith
Date: Wed, 15 Feb 2012 11:38:39 -0500
To: Michael Anthony
Subject: RE: three amigos
First rubbing d*cks with Fogerty and now this. In the Facebook post where this pic comes from Rick says "yes we look happy" and reveals they had just finished recording a song for "Dave's project" called "The Man That Never Was." Yes they do look happy. They look like they just "finished" something if you know what I mean.
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From: Michael Anthony
Sent: Wednesday, February 15, 2012 11:46 AM
To: G.E. Smith
Subject: Re: three amigos
They need to get Corgan in there to complete the sh*t sandwich.
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From: G.E. Smith
Date: Wed, 15 Feb 2012 11:49:56 -0500
To: Michael Anthony
Subject: RE: three amigos
I'm thinking Corgan would be the hockey-puck-like, too-old-to-eat patty and Rick would be the "special sauce."
Check out this clip when you get a chance. Kurdt calls Dave's first Nirvana co-writing contributions (on "In Utero") "simple" and "bone-headed."
Also, this photo answers the question: "When does irony become reality?"
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From: Michael Anthony
Sent: Wednesday, February 15, 2012 11:55 AM
To: G.E. Smith
Subject: Re: three amigos
Yeah seriously. Like you said - I respect Vig for his work, deeply admire Springfield and his music for what it is, and give Grohl some points for drumming in a decent band.
No, we will not die like dogs! We will fight like lions!
But who would have thought the guy who produced Killdozer, and the supposedly once-cool drummer from a pioneering grunge band would be doing this now? Or I guess - maybe - this is what we should have figured all along?
Either way, Michael Gerald from Killdozer should stop by to take a steaming dump on the soundboard, then kick their asses.
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From: G.E. Smith
Sent: Wednesday, February 15, 2012 12:03 PM
To: Michael Anthony
Subject: RE: three amigos
Look, you get older, your tastes change. You get a little lamer. Maybe you don't chuck a best-of Boston CD when it gets mailed to you by their PR people. Maybe you leave Styx's "Too Much Time On My Hands" on when the vid comes on Classic. But you can still be cool. As long as you're aware of getting older and lamer, you stay cool.
This, this right here, is not being aware, and not staying cool. Allow me to drive the nail in Dave Grohl's coolness coffin.
It was Mr. "Centerfield" who stood on principal, who said no way am I going to put out good shit for my label, no way am I going to play a goddamn three-chord song or two with my Creedence Clearwater Revival bandmates when we go in the Rock Hall in 1993, and it ain't me, it ain't me I ain't no fortunate son and all that crap.
Well lookie here: According to the Los Angeles Times, the alleged rebel has written an original theme song for a new Fox show, "The Finder," and will actually guest star in the debut on Thursday, and will actually make the stripped-down version of "Fortunate Son" that he plays on the show available for purchase at a later date. CAAAA-CHING.
Somehow this isn't the only noteworthy news involving John Fogy-ty, as it has been reported by Billboard and others that Foo Fighters will guest on his upcoming album. Other guests include Miranda Lambert and Brad Paisley.
MIRANDA LAMBERT. BRAD PAISLEY. FOO FIGHTERS. JOHN FOGERTY. SAME ALBUM.
Harry's dump-a-rooni: We've all been there before, right?
With that thought accepted and dumped out in a fashion similar to the one Jeff Daniels' Harry employed in "Dumb and Dumber," let's address the real issue: What is Dave Grohl up to here? Why perform on a Fogerty record? Why? There is just no connection at any point in Grohl's career with Nirvana or Foos that could be made. Even his limp-ass tune "Wheels," from their 2009 greatest hits album*, is more Tom Petty lite or by-the-numbers adult contemporary radio rock than it is retro-rock circuit.
* I have to break this out: Foo Fighters' 2009 "Greatest Hits" was a two-CD set, with EIGHT SONGS on each disc. Eight songs on one disc? What a monumental waste of disc space. So there's 16 songs, and among those is the awful "Wheels," which was new at the time, and was obviously awful, but someone had the genius idea to include this on a greatest hits set? Also among this collection of greats is an acoustic version of "Everlong" to close things out. This is a greatest HITS album boys. Why do you have two versions of the same song on a greatest hits record? HAHAHHAHA.
Watch the "Wheels" come down right here:
The only motive in play with this Foo Fighters-Fogerty collab is this: Grohl and his boys are laying the groundwork for a 2020 induction on the first ballot. By that time, Foo Fighters will be considered Classic Rock, and many will redo history to put them on one of the upper shelves with The Doors, The Byrds and, oh, what do you know, CREEDENCE!
Look, the self-titled debut was great. "The Colour and the Shape" is half good. I know CDNR's Flipout Wilson will disagree, but I don't see anything else in their catalog that takes them to Rock Hall level.
Hopefully, one of our readers in the Ukraine saves this or something like it until 2020.
Scrapple tastes gooooood. Pork chop tastes goooood.
All of these things are awesome. All of these things at the same time still could be awesome. But it'd also be really confusing, almost impossible to digest, and probably in the end it might not be so, well, satisfying. You'll probably vomit at least once that night. You'll definitely shit yourself silly the next day.
What happened on Jan. 18, 1989, is similar to the very same feast described above. At the end of a Rock and Roll Hall of Fame ceremony that saw The Rolling Stones, The Temptations, Otis Redding, Stevie Wonder and Dion (not a bad class) go in, as well as cockface Phil Spector, who proved once again why he's as much of a cockface as he is a genius producer by inviting both Ike AND Tina Turner to induct him in the Hall. Interestingly enough, Ike is the one who pussed out, saying he was uncomfortable being around her.
At the end of what was probably a quite entertaining event to attend, all of the groups and an absolutely amazing assemblage of guests got on stage for a big jamfest performance of "Satisfaction."
Sure why the f*ck not, get out the cowbell.
Besides the inductees you had Dylan, Springsteen, George Harrison, a-hole Mike Love, a very uncomfortable looking John Fogerty (but when is John Fogerty ever comfortable looking?), possibly a coked out Billy Joel on the keys (it was possibly him, but whoever it was definitely was coked out); and then a super solid B team that included Mick Jones of Foreigner, Jeff Lynne, Arlo Guthrie, maybe Todd Rundgren and a few of the other Beach Boy dweebs.
There were so many f*ckers up there I'm not sure if any of the other Stones were up there besides Jagger.
The dizzying roster and the decent performance makes this a pretty incredible Rock Hall moment, but we're teetering on vomit, we're teetering on overindulgence and a sense that this might be too much, and then two more things take it to Over The Top Ville.
One is the presence of Paul Shaffer. But it's not just that he's there. It's that he used a Keytar to get himself front and center, whoring his way to the center of the action, like some dude nudging his way into the Last Supper scene so he could make the painting. F*ck you, Paul Shaffer.
This I get. The other thing, not so much.
Then there's what happens at 2:40. Bruce and Mick, sharing the mic like it was a metal schlong with a wire. When Bruce and Little Steven do this, it's cool. It's a bro thing. I get it. But here there's 400 mics sitting around, and no one's using them, and Bruce doesn't even have a guitar (another puzzling aspect), and there's no reason for them to get so close that their teeth are touching.
I dunno. The more I write about this the more I'm thinking this really is "great."
Despite its endless flaws, unbelievable ignorance and moronic choices, The Rock and Roll Hall of Fame has at times done the impossible. In 2002, it reunited The Talking Heads. In 1993, it brought about the temporary reformation of eternal prick Eric Clapton and his overrated but still-Hall worthy band Cream.
But that same year, it could not bring about the reunion of Creedence Clearwater Revival, despite the fact that John Fogerty went out of his way to appear at the podium with his former bandmates, Doug Clifford and Stu Cook (cue the most sarcastic golf clap one can muster).
Apparently Fogerty was still pissed about plagiarizing himself, or maybe he was pissed that he had barely made any good music for two-plus decades. Or maybe he could even see the future and the ridiculous vaudeville-circus-like Credence Clearwater Revisited act that Cook and Clifford would take on the road to play for dozens of people at a time.
Whatever the reason, all three surviving members (Tom Fogerty died in 1990) were standing right there on Jan. 12, 1993. All they had to do was walk over to the stage, pick up their instruments, and start playing "dude dude dude lookin' out my back door."
Instead, they fumbled at their acceptance speeches, Clifford going first because no one else would, Cook looking dopey going last and reminding us why Fogerty might have booted him along with Clifford, all while Fogerty bounced around in the background uncomfortably. He took the mic second and backhandedly thanked his fellow bandmates.
In a word, it was awkberg.
"We've disagreed a lot over the years but there was a time when we made really great music together, and I think that's actually the whole reason, the real deal why we're all here at all. So thank you guys ..."
Crickets followed "guys" where there should have been thunderous applause.
Then Fogerty went and played "Green River," "Who'll Stop The Rain" and "Born on the Bayou" with a group of hired hands that included Bruce Springsteen and Robbie Robertson, the latter of which would hilariously copy Fogerty's act of pettiness by not performing with The Band when they went in the next year.
John Freaking Fogerty. What else can you say about a guy who screwed his fans on his 1985 and 1986 tours by refusing to play CCR songs because of his war with his old record label?
Enjoy this crappy rendition of "Green River" at the 1993 induction.
