Monday, November 28, 2011

Kickin' Em Out: 1991

There's something significant about the fact that the induction event in 1991 was delayed by the beginning of Bush I's bombing of Baghdad.

But not because the start of the war was good or bad, but because Rolling Stone maestro and Rock Hall King Jann Wenner proved once again that he's a Grade A douche by reciting the lyrics to a Jackson Browne song. If you're going to speak out against a military action, you go Dylan, or Woody, or even Bruce, right? But Jackson Freaking Browne? There's a sweet spot in hell for that scumbag later in the life of CDNR. But back to the proceedings...

He's Ralph Bass, and he came to get down.
As bland and mind-numbingly mediocre as this class was - The Byrds and John Lee Hooker being the cool but still not wow-these-are-awesome-moments exceptions - it was still easy to bounce a few suckas.

First up is Ralph Bass, a producer and talent scout who played as a sideman on the original version of R&B standard "Kansas City" and many other allegedly important songs.

But Bass gets bounced because you just can't have a guy in the Hall who looks like this. You just can't. Rob Bass has more right to be in there than Ralph Bass (pausing to make a note to self about a future Rob-Bass-should-be-in-the-Hall entry).

Next, we're pulling an unnecessary double-switch straight out of Tony La Russa's playbook, knocking Ike and Tina Turner out of the Hall and putting Tina right back in.

Ike is a wife beating scumbag, and if you say you really love the whole of their version of "Proud Mary" (meaning the beginning and not just the awesome second part) then you're lying. This sack of shit has shared credit with the amazing Tina Turner for too long.

Let's make things right and official right now: Tina Turner dominated as the frontwoman of a group that Ike Turner assembled and produced. When Tina showed more balls than Ike ever had and split, she went on to dominate as a solo artist, and he faded into oblivion. She rules, and he sucks.  

She's in, and he's out. Amen.

Only thing missing is the pitcher hitting 8th.
LaVern Baker
Dave Bartholomew
Ralph Bass
Ike and Tina Turner
Neshui Ertegun
The Byrds
John Lee Hooker
The Impressions
Howlin' Wolf
Wilson Pickett
Jimmy Reed
Tina Turner

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