Saturday, October 29, 2011

Make love, not War

Does anyone really like War?

And I'm not talking about the Iraq War, the War in Afghanistan, World War I, the Bohemian War or the Honey War that almost broke out between Iowa and Missouri in the 1930s.

I'm talking about War. Eric Burdon War. Eric Burdon-less War. "Spill The Wine" War. "Lowrider" War.  The ironic "Why Can't We Be Friends" War.

The same War that's up for induction in the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame this year.

We've seen this before: A band that only had a few hits or memorable songs gets nominated and even inducted into the Hall.

But have we seen this before? A band that has only three tunes, and all three are absolutely horrific? And all three have been featured in 7.4 million movies since their release?

"Spill The Wine," which reached No. 3 on the Billboard charts, wields a repetitive Burdon-sung refrain that's not unlike the ball in "Phantasm" ripping through my brain.

The instrumental "Lowrider" makes me think of stale reefer, New York streets that smell like hotdog water and everything that was wrong and ugly about the '70s. In other words, a window into the world of the guy in Three Dog Night's "Mama Told Me Not To Come," only worse. If Burdon sang on this song it would murder anyone who listened.

Did you know? Chuck Negron's
'stache knows how to play "Lowrider."
If "Why Can't We Be Friends" was made for and only used in 10 second doses for commercials, it'd be fine. As a full song, it's another skull-stabbing loop of poop.

As often as possible, this blog and many others like it testify to the idea that the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame is a sham. If War is inducted this year or any year really (not to mention that Burdon the turd will be in the Rock Hall TWICE), that idea will become fact and all anti-Rock Hall blogs will become moot.

Oh, and I'll give up listening to and/or playing music, and will eat all of my CDs, tapes, records, guitars and other instruments, and my head will explode.

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