Kickin' Em Out: 1993

Good songs, talented group, but sorry, no Hall.

New Edition should be in the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame.

Why?

Simple: In 1993, the Hall inducted Frankie Lymon & the Teenagers. As a performer. Not even as an "early influence" or through any other kind of b.s. induction category the lame-o voters use to sneak in their favorites.

The Hall says that their smash single "Why Do Fools Fall in Love?" defined the doo-wop sound. (No mention of the lawsuit, not long after their induction, that essentially said other members of the Teenagers, and not Lymon, wrote the tune).


To their credit, they made the R&B Top 10 six times, albeit with songs that I bet you can't hum right now: including "Out in the Cold Again," "I Want You to Be My Girl," "Who Can Explain?" and "The ABC’s of Love." They're all really solid tunes, but are they Hall-worthy?

Perhaps Hall voters were swayed by the tragic story of Lymon's death - he died in 1968, at age 25, of a heroin overdose.


They should not need any swaying to put New Edition in. The group placed within the Top 51 of the Billboard Top 100 eleven times, including four in the Top 10. Don't even mention the R&B charts - they freaking destroyed them for more than a decades with tracks like "Candy Girl," "Mr. Telephone Man," "Can You Stand The Rain" and "Cool It Now." (WARNING: THE BELOW VIDEO IS BEYOND SICK):

Oh, and let's not forget the Spawns of New Edition, which are almost better than the group itself.

Post-Bobby, with-Johnny era.

Bobby Brown solo, Johnny Gill solo (his self-titled 1990 album, featuring "Fairweather Friend," is an R&B/ New Jack classic), Ralph Tresvant solo (ditto his 1990 self-titled solo album, which boasted the big single "Sensitivity") and, of, course, Bell Biv DeVoe, authors of "Poison," "Do Me," etc.

When the Hall finally recognizes modern R&B as a legitimate genre of music, New Edition should be among the first to get in.

Shit. I'm wasting my time on something that should (and hopefully will) get its own post down the road.

For now, let's focus on the task at hand: Sorry Frankie - you and your Teenagers have got to go.

Ruth Brown
Dick Clark
Cream
The Doors
Creedence Clearwater Revival
Frankie Lymon & the Teenagers
Milt Gabler
Etta James
Van Morrison
Sly and the Family Stone
Dinah Washington

Great Guns! Chances not good for GNR Rock Hall reunion

If we can't get a reunion, can we at least get the leather hat?

It seemed like a shoe-in: Guns 'N' Roses gets in the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame, Axl and Slash make nice for at least one night, and the band finally reunites for one freaking set consisting of two or three freaking songs.

The Duffster.

But guess what? Probably not gonna happen, at least according to two former GNR members.

- Matt Sorum, drummer of the band's wheelhouse period, predicts a train wreck at the induction ceremony a la the Sex Pistols' entry to the Hall, with no Guns Reunion. Via Blabbermouth via Australia's The Vine.

- On his blog at Seattle Weekly, Duff McKagan says he doesn't see a Guns reunion happening. 

BUT

- Duff gets onstage with Axl and the current lineup after his band Loaded opens for Guns in Seattle.

AND

Axl ejects a fan in Vancouver, perhaps hinting that the frontman is returning to his unruly ways, perhaps hinting that he'll pine for the glory days, and decide that his spat with Slash over something he doesn't even remember wasn't worth it is over. And Slash agrees, and, and ...

What's your take? Will a Guns reunion happen? Should it happen? Does it need to? Do you care? COMMENT.

Four random thoughts on Induction '12

We've taken a few days off, forcibly baptized each member of our staff in the holy holiday waters of eggnog and emerged refreshed - no more bitterness about the Rock Hall's choices for induction for 2012. What's done is done. It is what it is. They were who we thought they were.

Here's four deep - or puddle shallow - thoughts our crew had about the upcoming ceremony. Why four? Because The Man wouldn't let us have five.

1) Which guitarist or guitarists will play for the Red Hot Chili Peppers at the induction ceremony? 

Obviously not the late Hillel Slovak.

Dave Navarro?

John Frusciante?

Jack Sherman, who played on their debut?

DeWayne "Blackbyrd" McKnight?

Arik Marshall?

Jesse Tobias, who was replaced by Navaro after one month?

All, or most, of the above?

Technically, The Mats (w/ Stinson, far right) are now in the Hall.

2) Regardless of whether Axl reunites with Duff and Slash or uses his current Guns 'N' Roses crew, The Replacements are getting into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. Well, at least one quarter of the surviving members - Tommy Stinson has been a fixture in GNR's current touring band and played on "Chinese Democracy" which, for better or for worse, is a Guns ’N’ Roses album.

3) Will the late Larry “Bud” Melman get a shout-out during the Beastie Boys acceptance speech? Will a hologram of Melman appear during their performance?

4) Will the hall really recognize the Small Faces in the same way they’ll recognize Faces? Obviously, Small Faces were a player in the Mod scene and had a few hits, like "Itchycoo Park." But it’s a joke if they try and say that band (and let’s face it, it’s a different band. It just is) had as much of an impact as Faces. Our friends at Future Rock Legends tackled this in a stupendous post-announcement screed a few weeks back.

That's it for now. Back to the eggnog.

Balls to the Hall: Rock and roll can never die

Who the bleep is Demi Lovato?

Sure, I can Google until my heart's content. If she follows the pattern of all the other cookie-cutter, auto-tuned acts out there, I can be sure that turning off Google's "Safe Search" filter will most likely reveal some pictures of her getting out of a limo and Whoops! someone forgot to wear panties. But, seriously... who the hell is she?

You're reading this from a guy who had no clue who Britney Spears was until well after her Baby Hit Me One More Time (which I still say is a thinly-veiled ode to relationship abuse) phase. When it comes to my likes and dislikes, I am firmly in the camp of rock, hard rock, and anything that makes the majority of the socially-acceptable turn up their collective noses and pray for some Michael Bolton.

I bring up that Lavato chick only because if The Hall continues to allow people in who have no cause to be associated with rock, we're going to see inductees such as The New Kids on the Block, The Backstreet Boys, N'Sync, Britney Spears, Christina Aguilera, and all of those other pre-fabricated, paint-by-numbers acts that have permeated the cultural landscape since television came on the scene.

When they was Fab.

Don't believe me? Let's talk The Beatles. For my money, Paul & John were THE best songwriting duo of the latter 20th century. Period. No one will argue about George's talent, and, what people fail to realize is that Ringo is extremely talented in his own right. Unfortunately, even a bright star gets dimmed when it's surrounded by brighter ones. In any case, The Beatles, capturing a phrase from their day, were dubbed "The Fab Four" because, well, there were four of them and they had that "fabbo" way about them. Right after The Beatles were just gods among men, television created The Monkees... or, as a lot of news outlets dubbed them, "The Pre-Fab Four".

The Monkees, in their heyday, were huge... impossibly so, making them a good example of what happens when you get lucky. Don't get me wrong... I love The Monkees. They were actually my very first concert (the 1987 reunion tour featuring one "Weird" Al Yankovic as the opening act in The Mann Music Center in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania), but I would never consider them Hall-worthy like The Beatles.

No matter which era of music you look at, you'll see an innovative look or sound or act hit, and then a slew of imposters, pretenders, and just plain losers will flood the market. Can I argue that The New Kids weren't huge? Christ, no. I have a little sister, and when NKOTB (for those "in the know", ya know) hit the scene, it was unreal. They were the grandfathers of the boy-band craze of the 1990s and beyond (of course, we can also blame Menudo, but the only reason a lot of white people remember them was the guest stint on Silver Spoons, right? Don't lie... you know know I'm right), but that doesn't make them inductee-worthy.

What I'm worried about is the dearth of true acts in 20 years. Sure, you have solid bands like Puddle of Mudd and a lot of other nu-rock acts, but they are so niche that, unless their big hit is a little salacious or adopted by some car company, no one hears of them. God forbid I take my son to Cleveland in 2025 to see Nickleback get in.

shudder

So, I reiterate: Who the bleep is Demi Lovato? Why should I care? Who are these teeny-bopper pretty people whose voices get auto-tuned to all hell? Can't we just start over and hopefully get some really awesome garage bands out into the world? I mean, truly, if I hear Justin Beiber one more time, I may just have to find a bell-tower.

Remember the '80s, Rock Hall? Cars, Go-Go's should be in

You might think we're crazy, but The Cars should be in the Hall.

News of the Hall's recent inductions have sunk in here at CDNR Headquarters - we talked Bertha out of taking a dump on the Rock Hall's steps, stopped Bifferado from lighting all of his music on fire and convinced Waldodude to not cut his ears off and eat them on a ham sandwich.

We've agreed that the actual bands and artists chosen aren't that bad; our ire has more to do with the fact that, once again, worthy bands and even entire genres have been passed over in favor of Rolling Stone Approved Bands (i.e., bands that have a guaranteed 4 star reviewed for every album they put out). We're saving a post on Rush until we find someone more qualified to write it up, and we really need to wind up for our Mega-Post on Kiss getting the shaft.

Clearly, the Hall has moved into the 1980s, but instead of starting with New Wave and the dawn of MTV, Hall voters sidestepped the question of keyboards and a return to pop-rock and went right to the middle and later part of the decade.

What about The Cars?

Let's look at the stats:

- 16 singles charted higher than No. 50 on the Billboard Hot 100 singles charts, including a No. 3 (the super-smash ballad "Drive") and a No. 4 (all-time great "Shake It Up"). "Let's Go," which will be sampled at sporting events until there are no more sporting events, hit No. 14.

- 7 albums in the Top 20 of the Billboard 200 albums charts, including three in the Top 5 - 1979's "Candy-O," 1980's "Panorama" and 1984's "Heartbeat City" and the most recent "Move Like This." (Really? The Cars? In 2011? Wow. And awesome).

- 3 singles in the Top 100 from the pretty bad 1986 album "Door To Door," which speaks to their staying power even as they sloped and careened to their eventual breakup.

He drove you home.

Never happens without The Cars.

None of this accounts for the band's contribution to the video era, including the then-groundbreaking "You Might Think"; the late-Benjamin Orr's creepy "Drive," featuring Ric Ocasek's hot model wife; the even creepier "Hello Again," featuring Andy Freaking Warhol and some voluptuous babe who might have been a dude; "Shake It Up"; and "Magic," where Ocasek walks on water on top of clear blocks that you could always see but always pretended how cool it was.

Never happens without The Cars.

Maybe they didn't reinvent the wheel. Maybe they didn't get smacked out on drugs and make effed up videos and boast a bass player named after an insect.

Maybe they didn't rap about bad liquor and make videos with Seth Rogen.

Maybe they didn't welcome you to the jungle and make an overrated, overbloated double album that they sold in separate units to make an extra few bucks.

But if you grew up in the 1980s, you know how rad The Cars were, and you know they belong in the Hall.

Then.

What about The Go-Go's?

Let's look at the stats:


- 3 Top 20 albums in a two year span, including two (1982's "Talk Show" and "Beauty And The Beat") in the same year.


- 1 album, "God Bless The Go-Go's," that hit No. 57 in 2011 (Really? The Go-Go's? In 2011? Wow. And awesome).


- 5 singles in the Top 50 of the the Billboard Hot 100, including four of the best singles of The 1980s: "We Got The Beat," "Our Lips Are Sealed," "Vacation," "Head Over Heels."

Now.

- X number of chart-topping singles and albums if they hadn't been making music in a still-male-dominated industry - and had the benefit of cranking tunes after the falling of the walls they helped to bring down.

Head over heels for Boba.

None of this accounts for the image they cemented in the minds of music fans at the time: Girls can rock, they can write their own tunes and play their own instruments and they don't have to slut it up to do it. They took the torch from the Runaways, of course, but they put this on MTV.

My favorite period is the "Talk Show" phase, where Belinda Carlisle, Jane Wiedlin, Charlotte Caffey, Gina Schock and Kathy Valentine looked like smokin' hot 1980s moms rocking out and didn't really care that they did. It was as bad ass and punk rock as anything they ever did.

Yo, Rock Hall: When you make it up to Heart for abandoning the Women Who Rock theme it seemed like you were building, make sure to include The Go-Go's.

Class of 2012: Really?

If you were hosting a party for some of the highest rollers in town, you would serve a gourmet meal - Fillet Mignon, the finest fish, maybe duck, some scrumptious appetizers, Banana's Foster and other amazing desserts. If you planned to serve adult beverages, you would reach for the top shelf - vintage wines, Grey Goose vodka, microbrews, etc. The best table cloths would come out, perhaps some plants would be arranged, a nice sound system would be set up and you'd probably put on your best clothes, maybe even a tux.

Yet year after year after year after year, the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame serves up frozen dinners, busts out the PBR and Boone's Farm, covers a picnic table with a plastic cover, turns up the soundtrack to "Footloose" and calls that the finest of the finest.

Out of the bands that were nominated, I can't argue with the selection of Guns 'N' Roses. They were a massive band that changed the direction of music and held the role of Michael Jordan of music for about 6-7 years.

Cheap Trick: Shafted again.

Still, how many other eligible bands are legitimately deserving, all biases or personal preferences aside: Kiss (which topped this list of bands that keep getting sh*t on), Cheap Trick, The Replacements, Big Star, Yes, Rush, Peter Gabriel, and so on.

And while the Red Hot Chili Peppers, Donovan, The Beastie Boys, The Faces and Laura Nyro are all fine bands, none of them are more worthy than Heart or Joan Jett, and all of them are definitely not top-shelf material.

Let's start with the Peppers:

- I'm shocked. Maybe some day they get in, but to get in now, with so many others waiting, even from THIS CLASS, wow.

- They blended the speed of The Minutemen with the funk of Stevie Wonder and P-Funk. So one of the key ingredients of this band will never sniff the Hall, yet the RCP make it in their second year eligible?

- They wore socks on their d*cks.

- They were a goofy band, and if the Rock Hall wants to argue that Cheap Trick or Kiss shouldn't get in because they were schlocky or over the top, then the Peppers should be under the same band.

- They really didn't do anything Hall-worthy until "Blood Sugar Sex Magik," and then nothing after.

- No stability: They had three permanent members during their entire run, shifting out guitarists like Spinal Tap did drummers.

Thanks Beasties. Word to ya motha.

Beasties:

- We just covered this in a recent post. They were a novelty band. It was solidified with "Licensed To Ill" and never really changed despite efforts to get serious.

- The first white rappers. But is that really ground breaking or coincidence?

- They mixed rock and rap, but didn't Run-DMC already do that?

- "Paul's Boutique" is great, but it basically uses every song made in the last 30 years as samples to make the songs better. So should Beck get in? Should Vanilla Ice get in?

- How many rap artists should be offended that they got in before them? Eric B. and Rakim, L.L. Cool J., Big Daddy Kane ... (EPMD, Public Enemy and NWA should be a lock when they become eligible next year, right?


The Faces:

- Like Guns, it's kind of hard to argue against them getting in. They made some pretty bad-ass tunes during their short but solid run, but let's be honest - they are in because Rod Stewart and Ronnie Wood were in the band. Period.


Donovan: 

- How many dozens of solo artists could get in before him, including (holding the puke in my mouth) Sting?

Laura Nyro:

- Hailed as "an innovative pop songstress." So, like, Liz Phair, Lady Gaga, Janet Jackson or Lucinda Williams? I expect all of them to get in too, Rock Hall.

The Biggest Benefactor of a Guns 'N' Roses Induction: Fred Durst

Why he's here we can't quite remember.

Somebody tell me the difference between Axl Rose and Fred Durst.

What’s your case? While you think about it, here’s my case.

There is no difference. Both are giant walking egos who believe their fame is deserved – the result of their hard work and their God-given talent. 

Both put forth overwrought chart-topping albums that produced a few songs most of us wish others didn’t still have memorized. 

Neither began or influenced their respective rock genres. Glam rock was around well before Rose doused his head with a can of hairspray. 

White boys were playing guitars and rapping was around before the Florida-born Durst donned a Yankees cap.


Their landmark albums, “Appetite for Destruction” and “Significant Other,” didn’t at all introduce a new style of music. Yet, somehow, those images are considered the faces genres. Seriously, we thought THESE guys were cool looking.

Let’s also look at Durst's guitar work while we’re at it.

Perhaps the biggest thing Rose and Durst have in common is that they were the reasons people got tired of their genre’s music. People got tired of their played-out music, their billboard-sized egos and their full-on diva outbursts. Public opinion ran the furthest distance from them within the rock spectrum – from the make-up and tights of glam rock to the undyed, unwashed hair of grunge; from the homoerotic chauvinism of rap-rock to meek and melodic ways of emo.

In fact, that should be the case against Guns 'n' Roses.

Sure they were the biggest band on Earth for a handful of years. Beyond two big albums (By my count, the “Use Your Illusion” albums count as one.), Guns 'n' Roses' biggest contribution was making people not like the rock and roll that made them famous.The end result of Guns 'n' Roses popularity was Nirvana.

Let's hear it for the Boys.

Matchbox 20 dude will induct them.

The lone difference between the two is that Rose will probably be “enshrined” into the Rock Hall. 

But even that’s debatable. Whatever Fred Durst is doing, he needs to stop and lobby for Guns 'n' Roses.

could be another. 

Even Backstreet Boys have a case now.

Their extent of fame rose and fell around the mushroom clouds that were their two big albums. 

Their subsequent albums were bombs of another nature, and their fame died almost immediately after the first disappointing week of sales.

And now all of them are active, touring and recording music. 

Rock Hall, stop this.