Thursday, December 8, 2011

Class of 2012: Really?

If you were hosting a party for some of the highest rollers in town, you would serve a gourmet meal - Fillet Mignon, the finest fish, maybe duck, some scrumptious appetizers, Banana's Foster and other amazing desserts. If you planned to serve adult beverages, you would reach for the top shelf - vintage wines, Grey Goose vodka, microbrews, etc. The best table cloths would come out, perhaps some plants would be arranged, a nice sound system would be set up and you'd probably put on your best clothes, maybe even a tux.

Yet year after year after year after year, the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame serves up frozen dinners, busts out the PBR and Boone's Farm, covers a picnic table with a plastic cover, turns up the soundtrack to "Footloose" and calls that the finest of the finest.

Out of the bands that were nominated, I can't argue with the selection of Guns 'N' Roses. They were a massive band that changed the direction of music and held the role of Michael Jordan of music for about 6-7 years.

Cheap Trick: Shafted again.
Still, how many other eligible bands are legitimately deserving, all biases or personal preferences aside: Kiss (which topped this list of bands that keep getting sh*t on), Cheap Trick, The Replacements, Big Star, Yes, Rush, Peter Gabriel, and so on.

And while the Red Hot Chili Peppers, Donovan, The Beastie Boys, The Faces and Laura Nyro are all fine bands, none of them are more worthy than Heart or Joan Jett, and all of them are definitely not top-shelf material.

Let's start with the Peppers:

- I'm shocked. Maybe some day they get in, but to get in now, with so many others waiting, even from THIS CLASS, wow.

- They blended the speed of The Minutemen with the funk of Stevie Wonder and P-Funk. So one of the key ingredients of this band will never sniff the Hall, yet the RCP make it in their second year eligible?

- They wore socks on their d*cks.

- They were a goofy band, and if the Rock Hall wants to argue that Cheap Trick or Kiss shouldn't get in because they were schlocky or over the top, then the Peppers should be under the same band.

- They really didn't do anything Hall-worthy until "Blood Sugar Sex Magik," and then nothing after.

- No stability: They had three permanent members during their entire run, shifting out guitarists like Spinal Tap did drummers.
Thanks Beasties. Word to ya motha.


- We just covered this in a recent post. They were a novelty band. It was solidified with "Licensed To Ill" and never really changed despite efforts to get serious.

- The first white rappers. But is that really ground breaking or coincidence?

- They mixed rock and rap, but didn't Run-DMC already do that?

- "Paul's Boutique" is great, but it basically uses every song made in the last 30 years as samples to make the songs better. So should Beck get in? Should Vanilla Ice get in?

- How many rap artists should be offended that they got in before them? Eric B. and Rakim, L.L. Cool J., Big Daddy Kane ... (EPMD, Public Enemy and NWA should be a lock when they become eligible next year, right?

The Faces:

- Like Guns, it's kind of hard to argue against them getting in. They made some pretty bad-ass tunes during their short but solid run, but let's be honest - they are in because Rod Stewart and Ronnie Wood were in the band. Period.


- How many dozens of solo artists could get in before him, including (holding the puke in my mouth) Sting?

Laura Nyro:

- Hailed as "an innovative pop songstress." So, like, Liz Phair, Lady Gaga, Janet Jackson or Lucinda Williams? I expect all of them to get in too, Rock Hall.

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