Watch the YouTube video for The Eagles' "The Long Run" for 10 hours straight, enduring Don Henley's nasally whine, a vocal attack that makes it seem as if his balls are dragging on the floor underneath the bass drum pedal; seeing smug-ass Glen Frey, Joe Walsh and Timothy B. Schmit deliver their backup vocals, all the while knowing they were both seething over Henley's time in the sun; hearing the constant wheez of Walsh's lazy lead guitar, a mail-it-in effort that was emblematic of what the band was up to at the time ...
OR
Eat a bowl of used tampons donated by Poison groupies?
Would you rather...
Listen to an entire solo album by Sting or Eric Clapton, feeling the full brunt of an English ego run roughshod, whether it was Slowhand's 1981 shitfest "Another Ticket," featuring the half-hearted accidental hit "I Can't Stand It," or the super-indulgent deep cuts on the immensely overrated "Ten Summoner's Tales" ...
OR
Let your head get stuck in an elevator door?
And would you rather ...
Ew.
Be the poor bastard who has to put the makeup on the faces of, well, Faces Ron Wood and Rod Stewart at the upcoming Rock Hall inductions, filling in cracks chiseled into those ugly mugs by oceans of liquor and mountains of narcotics, inhaling the smoke-and-booze-infused breath as it emanates from their mouth filled with f*cked up teeth ...
Last year, the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame announced its inductees at 10:30 a.m. on Wednesday, Dec. 15.
That means this year's announcement can't be that far away, even though the Hall and its voters are holding an induction date close to their slimy vests.
One way to get a good read on who's getting in and who isn't is to look at who's been saying what, and who's been saying nothing. After ripping the Hall for years, Joan Jett has gone silent. The Heart sisters have been appearing there regularly while also staying mum on the subject.
Not even "Light of Day" can stop Jett from flying into the Hall.
Those who want to get in know that speaking out can be harmful - David Bowie smoked the Hall in several interviews and didn't get in until 1996, which is a sham.
This is why we're pretty sure The Cure ain't getting in, and after seeing Robert Smith get snippy with them on his website because they didn't put their drummer's name in the bio on their site, we're fairly certain he'd be OK with that.
"BORIS WILLIAMS, LOL TOLHURST AND JASON COOPER HAVE EACH BEEN THE CURE’S DRUMMER ON FOUR ALBUMS… BORIS WILLIAMS WAS IN THE BAND FOR 9 YEARS AND LOL TOLHURST FOR 11 YEARS (5 YEARS AS DRUMMER)… BUT JASON COOPER HAS BEEN DRUMMING WITH THE CURE FOR 17 YEARS, FROM 1994 TO THE PRESENT DAY… JASON COOPER IS THE CURE’S DRUMMER – AND IT SICKENS ME THAT HE DOESNT GET A NAME CHECK… BAH! RSX"
Guns 'N' Roses was already a lock, and recent comments by the typically acerbic, anti-establishment Slash poured cement and molten lava on top of the lock and put it in an Al Gore lockbox.
Whoops, wrong Slash.
"It's become very prestigious over the years, and it's become a huge honor for anybody to be inducted into it -- or even nominated, for that matter," he recently told Billboard. "It's a cool accolade, I suppose. Obviously we're in really, really great company."
He also dangled the ultimate carrot stuck, essentially saying there would be a Guns reunion if they got in.
Sir Rod Stewart took it a step further, practically begging voters to put Faces in and promising to snag Ronnie Wood and the boys and reunite with his ol' mates if they made it happen.
"If the Faces make it in, I can't think of a more befitting opportunity for the band to finally reunite and perform. I know I'd definitely be up for it."
If these guys get in, someone needs to keep an eye on Rod and Ronnie:
